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Courtney & Monica
Courtney
36, Lesbian/Queer, She/Herfrom Texas, lives in Brooklyn, NY.
Monica
31, Queer, They/Shefrom Europe, lives in Brooklyn, NY.
Married in October, 2022.
Monica: “For me, there's the revolutionary act of being able to be married and have the legal rights that any other straight couple could have and to protect them. [...] If we can continue to protect rights that are already in place by taking advantage of them, [...] you continue to protect and expand. I think there's a ripple effect. [...] by actually using the rights that you are now entitled to by law and making them more visible and recognized, enables other rights to be secured and recognized and advanced.”
Monica: “I think in that particular context of me being married to Courtney, [being married] not only legitimizes the relationship [...] like, you literally can't ignore this anymore, this is real. We exist. It's official. We have the same rights as you do.
It unlocks that much more for our particular context, as two queer people from different countries, different citizenships, different cultures, that our relationship will be anchored by law now in a way that unlocks that much more for both of us, like access globally, financially, you know, all those items that otherwise would be in jeopardy. If we didn't get married and something happened to one of us, then you wouldn't be recognized in some parts of the world as like, as my person, without the marriage.“
“What will being married mean to you on a personal level, as a member of your families?
What is there to gain by having this right?”
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Courtney: “People will take us more seriously, not us as two humans, but us as in the queer community. We are real humans and we have real love and this is not just a phase. [...] I feel like we're taken more seriously if you're married and not just like dating around it around like breaking a lot of the stereotypes of that can come to the queer community.“
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Courtney: “To me, there's two pieces of what marriage means. There's the paperwork, publicly visible piece of it that is important. But the other big piece of it [...] is just us making a commitment to each other and an understanding between the two of us of that we are promising that we'll be there for each other and that we'll support each other and that we are aligning on what life we want to build together. And all of that is so personal. [...] It's like, we are leveling up our commitment to each other, to spend the rest of our lives together. That's just between us, you know, that's not a bit that the public sees that the world gets an eye on or opinion of.”
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Courtney: “People will take us more seriously, not us as two humans, but us as in the queer community. We are real humans and we have real love and this is not just a phase. [...] I feel like we're taken more seriously if you're married and not just like dating around it around like breaking a lot of the stereotypes of that can come to the queer community.“
Courtney: “To me, there's two pieces of what marriage means. There's the paperwork, publicly visible piece of it that is important. But the other big piece of it [...] is just us making a commitment to each other and an understanding between the two of us of that we are promising that we'll be there for each other and that we'll support each other and that we are aligning on what life we want to build together. And all of that is so personal. [...] It's like, we are leveling up our commitment to each other, to spend the rest of our lives together. That's just between us, you know, that's not a bit that the public sees that the world gets an eye on or opinion of.”
